


hail & farewell

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Daylighter Alec, F/M, Immortal Alec, Lightwood Siblings, M/M, and i love them, are the softest, being immortal means losing people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:02:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11785632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nothing could have prepared Alec for this moment, nothing.





	hail & farewell

**Author's Note:**

> daylighter!alec is like, my FAVOURITE headcanon for solving the immortality issue, but being immortal means alec's going to have to go through a lot of loss...

Nothing could have prepared Alec for this moment, nothing. He'd spent decades trying to come to terms with this very situation, knowing full well it would come around eventually, but it didn't matter how many times he tried to accept it, or how many words of advice he received from other warlocks and vampires and immortal creatures, he would never be ready for the day he lost Izzy.

What surprised him most was how normal a day it had been before they received a call from the Institue's infirmary telling them to come quickly. The loft had been quiet, due to the time of night, and Alec and Magnus had been lying in bed exhausted, but that was how most days ended up after Max had started his warlock training. Everything came quite quickly to him, he was very advanced for his age and Magnus was thrilled to be able to teach magic again, even if Max was prone to setting the living room on fire every once in a while. As for Rafael, he was more reserved, always fairly quiet and observatory, but he had really began to come out of his shell since befriending other young Shadowhunters at the Institute and learning to wield seraph blades together. He also adored his baby brother, and although he'd deny it to his Papa and Dad, he had been known to let Max secretly sneak into his bed at night so they could cuddle together.

That's what was unnerving. Alec and Magnus had been laying in bed, laughing about the days events and struggling to hold onto consciousness when Alec received the call. After that, it was all pretty much a blur of panic and bone chilling fright. He didn't remember seeing Magnus pick up his phone, but within minutes of Alec getting dressed, Catarina had portaled into the living room, awaiting their arrival.

"I don't know how long we'll be, but you know where everything is," Magnus rushed, pressing a quick peck to Catarina's cheek. "If we aren't back in the morning, Max doesn't like pancakes anymore so avoid those. He'll probably want something ridiculous. Rafael's easy though. He'll notice we're gone, but just tell him we've -"

"Magnus!" Catarina sighed, cutting him short. "Take a breath. The children will be fine, just worry about everything else."

"Right," Magnus took a shaky breath, and smiled sadly at his best friend. They'd faced a lot of loss over the years, but this was different. This was Alec's loss, and he was new to it all. He had to be there for him. "Thank you for this."

"Don't be silly," Catarina whispered, before turning her attention to Alec who'd finally finished pulling together an overnight bag and was struggling to zip it up with shaky hands. "Anything you need, I'm here for you."

Alec and Magnus had left the loft in Catarina's hands, knowing the safety of their children was guaranteed and that Max would probably explode with excitement once he saw his auntie had come to visit. Rafael on the other hand would question it; he'd know something was wrong at the disappearance of their parents overnight. It was the Shadowhunter instinct in him that made him aware of when things weren't okay, but he wouldn't say anything out of fear of upsetting Max.

That was how they ended up in the Institute's infirmary, sitting at Isabelle's bedside as she clung on to her last moments of life. 

Alec had been warned by a Silent Brother that Izzy had been given a sedative to calm her down as her body slowly began to deteriorate, but she was still laying in bed with a soft smile on her face, trying to pay attention to everyone in the room. Despite her state, her face had completely lit up when she saw Alec and Magnus arrive, and any tension that was in her body at the fear that she wouldn't see her brother again seemed to fade away.

Only immediate family had been allowed into the infirmary, meaning that the only people sat around the bed were Alec, Magnus and Isabelle's two daughters Sophie and Anna, who were now fully grown women. Both of their cheeks were tear stained and it seemed like they were struggling to keep it together, but knowing their mother as well as they did, they knew Izzy wouldn't want tears spilled over her.

"You made it." Izzy smiled, her voice was raspy and dry, but she forced the words out.

"Of course." Alec choked out. He had been in the room all of five minutes but after seeing his baby sister tucked into the hospital bed, her gray hair spilling over the pillows, he'd immediately felt his eyes begin to tear up.

He was sat closely to her, gripping her hand gently with both of his own whilst Magnus sat behind him, softly rubbing his back in reassurance. Alec had never felt dread like he did in this exact moment, and hiding his fear and pain was proving to be very difficult. Izzy noticed the tension in his body, the ragged breathing and deep sighs he kept releasing, and pulled on his hand with the slight strength she had.

"Hey, we knew this was coming, big brother." She whispered, her own eyes beginning to glisten with moisture. "I'm happy, you're happy. There's nothing to worry about. It's  _okay_."

Isabelle wasn't wrong. Both of them had lived the lives they wanted, taking their own paths to find the happiness they deserved. Izzy had taken over as Head of the Institute after Alec resigned, and she'd brought two beautiful daughters into the world. Alec had changed the course of his future, made a difference by defying the Clave and becoming a Downworlder, and lived happily with the man he loved and his amazing children. They  _were_ happy.

"I know, Izzy. We ended up alright." Alec chuckled, forcing himself to somehow lighten up. 

"I'm just annoyed I'm the only one in the room with wrinkles." 

Alec scoffed and he could hear Magnus giggle quietly behind him. Even in her last moments, Isabelle still managed to put a smile on all their faces. Even Sophie and Anna were smirking slightly, using the humour as a barrier to hide how they were feeling.

This was their second time losing a parent, and Alec knew all too well how that felt after having lost Robert and Maryse a few years back. Even though he wasn't on the best of terms with his father, his death had still put his life on hold with the weight of grief in his heart. Maryse's death was far more brutal to face, having spent years repairing the relationship they had together until it was nothing but love and trust, and losing her felt like losing a part of himself. He knew exactly how Sophie and Anna were feeling.

"You two need to look out for one another, be there for each other. Sophie, stop dating childish boys who don't deserve you, and Anna, hurry up and ask Mollie to marry you. She's a pretty werewolf and she won't wait around forever." Izzy ordered, but before she could finish her sentence, an abrupt coughing fit took over. She swatted her hand at everyone fussing over her and settled back into the pillows when she was done, wincing in pain at the aches in her body.

"Do you need anything, Isabelle dear?" Magnus asked, leaning forward to look his sister-in-law in the eye. 

Alec knew Magnus was trying to hold it together, but really this was just as difficult for  him as well. Over the years, Magnus and Izzy had really become the best of friends, shopping together, weekly sleepovers and learning how to take care of babies and master motherhood after Izzy was the first in the family to have children.

"I'm fine," Izzy paused, before sighing fondly. "I can't wait to see Simon. I think he's been missing me."

Alec remembered losing Simon. It was the first time he'd ever grieved over losing someone who wasn't directly family, although he was family in every meaning of the word. It wasn't just how happy he made Izzy, because that alone was enough to make Alec respect him, but Simon didn't have to help Alec transition into a Daylighter all those years ago. He did it because he knew that was what Alec wanted, what he needed to be happy. He'd told him everything he needed to know, taught him how to control his urges and master his new powers, and made the whole dying and being reborn thing sound not so daunting. Simon had quite literally changed Alec's life for the better, and it was something Alec would always be grateful for as long as he lived.

"I'm sure he can't wait to see you too." Alec agreed, stroking his thumb over Izzy's fingers. She barely had the strength to return the hold, and her fingers were cold and weightless, but she still tried her hardest to weakly grip back.

"I bet Jace has probably been annoying him, wherever they are."

"Typical Jace and Simon." Magnus chuckled, shaking his head.

Jace was another one that was difficult to lose. Becoming a Daylighter meant their parabatai bond had broken years ago, but he was still his brother and Jace's death caused a huge pull in Alec's heart, like a cord had snapped and there was no way of fixing it. Izzy had been there to mourn with him, understand his grief and help him through the pain of losing a sibling, but this time, she couldn't do anything to help.

It was becoming quite clear the sedatives Izzy had taken were finally beginning to kick in completely, as her eyes were struggling to stay open, and her breathing was beginning to slow even further down.

"Big brother, I want you to know I'm proud of you." Izzy whispered weakly, nothing but love and adoration in her expression as she stared at Alec. "You have everything that you've ever wanted and you've made a change for Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike. I'm so  _proud_."

"I'm proud of you too. You've always ruled with your heart and never your head, and because of that you've helped make this Institute a sanctuary for everyone. I love you." 

Alec leaned forward then, stroking the stray hairs sticky from sweat out of the way and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn't mean to be ignorant, but he tuned out as Sophie, Anna and Magnus delivered their love declarations, unable to accept what was coming as Izzy lay her head back further and closed her eyes, smiling sadly. She had everyone she loved with her, and she was ready to let go, that much was clear.

Alec couldn't remember how long they all sat there in the silent room, waiting for the inevitable, but the late of the night took its toll on all of them and eventually Alec found himself falling asleep in his seat, dreaming of his life with Izzy: the day his mother first came home with a baby girl in her arms, Izzy's first rune ceremony, her first go at her whip where she nearly took a Silent Brother's head off, then the day she married Simon, and the birth of her first daughter. The wisdom and advice she had given him over the years, her constant support and compassion, how brilliant of a sister she was.

_"One day, somebody's going to love you, heart and soul."_

Izzy was rarely wrong, wasn't she?

Alec awoke with a groan, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His back ached, and for a moment he wondered why until he remembered where he was, and why he had been sleeping in a chair. The room was darker now, the lights turned out, and Sophie, Anna and Magnus were still sleeping soundlessly in their chairs. 

Alec looked to Izzy then, and his heart dropped. 

"Izzy?"

No answer.

"Izzy, please?" He choked out, barely audible. Deep down, he knew that there was no use. At first glance she may appear to be sleeping peacefully, but Alec was a vampire now and he could tell from the moment he woke up that there were only 3 pulses beating in the room.

He released a shaky breath he didn't know he had been keeping in, and brought the delicate hand he was still holding to his lips, dropping multiple kisses to her knuckles before resting them on his own forehead, just feeling the softness of her skin against his for what may be the last time.

"Hail and farewell."

* * *

 Two days later, Alec lay awake in his bed back at the loft, ignoring the chill of the night air against his naked chest as he stared up at the ceiling, expressionless. The dark played tricks with his eyes, and he found shapes forming in front of him, odd patterns and shadows distracting him from the dull ache in his heart.

He had been lying awake for so long, that he simply assumed Magnus was deep in sleep beside him. Alec sat up then, ignoring the covers as they bunched up at his hips. He was too restless, and laying down made him feel like he was drowning. He didn't know if he had woken Magnus or if he had been concious the entire time, but his hand slowly stroked over the curve of Alec's spine before he began drawing soft circles at the bottom of his back.

"I just can't sleep," Alec exhaled, his head beant down. "The funerals tomorrow."

"I know, it's going to be a sad day, but I bet Izzy will adore having the entire Institute's attention on her for one final time." Magnus whispered softly, continuing the swirls of shapes on Alec's back.

Alec chuckled then, the hint of a tear forming at the corner of his eye. He probably looked now how Max and Rafael had when they'd told them the news, the memory of his sons staring at him with their eyebrows narrowed in confusion and tears spilling when they finally came to the realisation haunted his memory. This wasn't easy on any of them, and whilst Alec was in the worst pain he had ever felt, he hated knowing his boys were feeling just as awful as him.

"Each time we lose someone, it hurts just as badly as the first time. Does it ever get easier?" Alec asked, turning his head to the side to face Magnus where he was laying.

Magnus was barely visible in the dim light of the bedroom, but the light and shadows reflected on his golden eyes which were fixated on Alec.

"Less overwhelming, yes. But never easier." When Alec didn't appear to relax, Magnus sighed and sat up, grabbing both of Alec's hands. "Just imagine, Alexander, that Izzy and your parents and every other mortal we know and love will always have us and our children to speak about them. Centuries after they've gone, me and you and Max, we will never forget them, and we'll make sure that no one else ever does. Everyone will always know just how much you loved your sister, your brothers, and your friends and your parents. When Rafe passes, we'll never stop telling everyone we meet about him. And it will never be easy to think of those we've lost, but I promise you, every memory, no matter how bittersweet, will always be with you and they'll live on in you."

Of course Magnus was right, as he always was. It's almost like he was always able to bring clarity with his words, something that someone who tends to get as lost as Alec does needs every now and again.

After that, Alec didn't feel a huge weight on his chest, but more of a subtle ache that would always be there no matter what. He knows that he's going to lose people, and it will never be without pain or anger, but they'll remain in his heart and in his memories, and it would be enough to be the person who got to love them forever.

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry.
> 
> no but, someone asked me to write this a while ago and i've only just got round to it now. i love izzy and alec so much.
> 
> twitter - @alecsminyard if you wish to yell at me
> 
> leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed it!


End file.
